It's a rush....

...certainly a rush of emotions, feelings, memories as we all watch what is happening to my dad's farmland and as I think back through the years there certainly is a "rush", almost a "drowning" of emotion, especially when I remember scenes like this....my mom and dad in their "golden" years, contemplating their future together, his life of work and sacrifice, his "retirement". I'm sure that's not what they are talking about here but my dad was a contented man....had a beautiful wife, took great satisfaction in his crop of hay to feed his cattle all lined up in a row....nothing made him happier....

This was his "office"....a couple of old discarded chairs put to the shade side of the shed, right by the flowing canal (he loved the ambience of the rushing water) and there would usually be a cold Pepsi in his hand....but today, Mom came to visit and he loved it when someone would come join him in his office......

This is what it looked like a few weeks ago as the property has been sold and the developers have moved in. Sometimes I wish things didn't have to change......

...but someone once said..."some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge." (Eckhart Talle)....

....and something new is certainly emerging and I have to admit, it's exciting to watch. It's been sad to watch the land be ravaged and trespassed by strangers who had no clue to the hard work and sacrifice that went in to farming the land, to make a living and many a stranger used it for backdrops for expensive photo shoots with no questions asked.....I have to admit, a tinge of frustration as I see it freely used and I want to yell at the top of my lungs..."do you even know what history is there behind your smiling faces"....they don't but I will take a bit of pleasure in knowing it was enjoyed by so many.

My heart is full as I write this post with my dad as alive as ever in my mind, milking the cows, taking the milk to this "milk house", separating out the cream then bringing it home for us to share with our neighbors or sell as we did to many happy recipients. My dad got up at the crack of dawn to go out and feed and milk the cows, came home for lunch, took a nap, headed back in the mid-afternoon, back home in the evening then oftimes back in the wee hours of the morning to turn the water. I would be awake some mornings and yearn for his return, always fearful that something dreadful would happen to him as he would go out in the dark alone but he always came home. It was just what he did.... and he loved it. He had the chance to do other things but chose to keep and farm the family land as others went off to other ventures. It was a place that was "his" and he took great pride in it. As kids, we loved the hot afternoons that mom would take his lunch to him and we would all sit in the shade of the shed and have our tuna sandwiches and Pepsi....he loved the visits, I just knew it and we had our own swimming pool in the canal....a memory I loved sharing with my kids as they grew. I didn't love riding the horse...I got thrown once and was scared ever since but my kids loved it and my dad loved giving each grand kid a turn and then as they grew older, they could do it themselves. We all loved our dumper rides, feeding the cows and playing on the bales of hay. When he had chickens, we'd let the kids chase and catch them and gather the eggs....they all loved naming the cows but of course, were saddened when theirs was the hamburger in the freezer.

...but something new is emerging....a new neighborhood like the one where we were blessed to raise our kids. It won't be Morningside Park but it will be new and young and built on sacred ground.....I hope those who have homes there will feel the spirit of Hal Sullivan, beloved dad of mine, lover of the land and keeper of the crop....I pray they will raise a crop of children equal to his name and let his legacy live on in Little Valley....I love you dad and miss you terribly. So grateful for the full life you and mom gave me and the memories I have of  "the farm"........